FoodNeiman Marcus Now Sells Luxury Tamales—Finally!
Why pay $1 for one regular tamale when you could pay $110 for 72 luxury tamales?
How have we made it this far without Neiman Marcus tamales? For years we've been buying Trader Joe's frozen tamales like peasants, unaware that luxury tamales were just a click and a payday away.
You can now order six dozen tamales from neimanmarcus.com for $92 plus shipping. What a steal! Neiman Marcus tamales might look like regular tamales, but they're actually very expensive and fancy. They are "handmade from a traditional recipe of fresh stone-ground corn, top-quality meats, lard, spices, and natural flavorings." Can the food truck by your office honestly claim that their meats are top-quality? Give me a wagyu tamale or give me death! I'd be more enticed if the corn were ground between the gums of toothless old mountain women, but even luxury tamales have to cut corners to match demand.
The question is not who are these luxury tamales for? The question is who are they not for? I've already ordered 12 dozen for my weekly Money Night, where my friends and I take a submarine to the Hamptons and burn our disposable income in one of those fire pits with the shiny stones that turn on with a switch as if by magic. I can't wait until the morning when I wake up to realize that Drunk Lauren ordered 360 Neiman Marcus tamales as a gift to Sober Lauren.
Besides tamales, Neiman Marcus offers flautas ($46 for a dozen, plus shipping) and an enchilada dinner ($72.00 for a dozen,) which is further testimony to Neiman Marcus's accessibility and worldliness. You can also order a fine selection of $50 cakes, in case you need something sweet after you finish off your 72nd desk tamale.
$110 says DJ Khaled is eating a luxury tamale RIGHT NOW.