JeansUpdate: Ryan Lochte Is Still Wearing Terrible Jeans
Which just adds self-inflicted insult to self-generated injury.
Someone, anyone, please help us understand why Ryan Lochte won't stop doing himself harm.
We didn't think things could get much worse for the mastermind behind one of the most talked-about international crime stories of 2016. We were wrong. After lying his way out of a lucrative contract with Speedo, agreeing to be on Dancing With the Stars, and showing up on Good Morning America wearing jeans so oversized our fathers wouldn't be caught dead in them, Lochte was spotted on Wednesday night in even more not-great denim.
The swimmer was photographed going to a West Hollywood bar called The Nice Guy (the temerity of which is overwhelming) wearing a pair elaborately distressed jeans that, simply put, are way too tight. He might have been going for the over-the-top look of the $900 Fear of God jeans other rich guys can't get enough of, but those jeans don't look as though they've been laminated onto the legs of the men who've worn them. This pair feels more like the kind of thing a trendy high schooler would have worn in 2011, not something a grown man should be getting drunk in in 2016.
And while we get that times are tough for the embattled Olympian, it's going to take a much stronger effort than going to a cleverly named bar in juvenile clothing to rehabilitate Lochte's image. Instead of watching him throw a few back at The Nice Guy, we'd much rather see him being a nice guy. In age-appropriate clothing.