SportsOlympic Pole Vaulter Tries to Clear Bar, Big Ol' Dick Gets in the Way
Happens to all of us.
As someone who has written extensively about big, dumb penises, I'd like to ask you all for a moment of quiet for Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita, who at the Rio Olympics over the weekend, had a difficult time clearing the bar in his qualifier. Mostly that was because he happens to own a big ol' dick, which is apparently a bad thing to have if you are a world-class pole vaulter.
Check it out. Via Imgur.
Some might argue that dicks are an inconvenience. They are mostly soft and squishy, certainly. But in the heat of sport they are also impossible to keep contained with mere Lycra, especially when it's attached to a strong and muscular Olympian. Hard to defeat an opponent with one of those things in the way.
The obvious solution is to give all the Olympic penises tiny gold medals for participation.