SportsOlympian Loses Badminton Match, Immediately Goes HAM at McDonald's
Australian badminton player Sawan Serasinghe may have lost the battle, but he ate a lot of McDonald's. After losing men's doubles on Saturday, Serasinghe posted a picture of his failure feast, which included roughly nine trillion calories of McDonald's. From atop the golden arches we salute you, brother from down unther.
"Can't wait to go back home to start training and keep on improving!" says Serasinghe is his caption, which is bullshit because it is physically impossible to move from one's couch after consuming 40 chicken nuggets. Serasinghe signed off the caption with an emoji smiling through its pain and some motivational athlete talk about learning from losses, but we see through his cheer. It's alright Sawan, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (but also make take your cholesterol to dangerous new heights.)
There are two main revelations here:
Revelation I The McDonald's in the Olympic Village is free for athletes. I, for one, have never felt more motivated to become an Olympian.
Revelation II Serasinghe's badminton abs are out of control. Beneath a coy, strategically exposed nipple is a labyrinth of abs that can withstand a McDonald's apocalypse. Point me to the nearest badminton court/lawn/ring/whatever.
We've reveled in some truly heartbreaking failures in Rio this year (see this pole vaulter, whose giant schlong cost him a gold medal but won him the affections of women around the world.) Please join us from your own cubicle as we spend the rest of the day flipping between Serasinghe's optimistic pre-failure Instagrams and this one.