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Lady Gaga Was Created in a Lab to Play the Super Bowl Halftime Show

MusicIf You Created a Perfect Super Bowl Halftime Show Performer in a Lab, You'd Get Lady Gaga

Something for everyone.

The NFL season is only three weeks old, but even fans whose teams are already basically eliminated from playoff contention (Hi, Browns fans! Maybe next year!) have something to look forward come Super Bowl 51. Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta took to Instagram today to announce that she would headline this year's halftime show.

This is a strong choice, since there just aren't many acts capable of playing the Super Bowl. In fact, here's a complete list of everyone up to the task:

  • Good old-fashioned dad rock bands that appeal straight to the core demographic watching the football game. No, they won't blow anyone away with dazzling pyrotechnics or jaw-dropping visual displays, but they also (hopefully) won't flash an international TV audience. Over a three-year span from 2008 through 2010, the halftime performers were, in order, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen, and The Who. Yeesh. Just writing that sentence caused white New Balance sneakers to appear on my feet.
  • High-profile pop stars that satisfy those viewers who don't much care for football, but who do want to attend their coworkers' Super Bowl parties without feeling any more awkward than they already would at a coworker's Super Bowl party. (Bonus points here if it's a female pop star that the aforementioned core demographic can unabashedly ogle.) Think Bruno Mars, or Prince, or Katy Perry riding in on a giant, demon-eyed Nightmare Lion.

Lady Gaga checks just about every box here. As an artist, she has always embraced grand, way-way-out-there visual spectacles (though no, not the kind we saw at Super Bowl XXXVIII, stop it). While her music might not ring a bell with the Dockers Relaxed Fit crew, given that she won a Grammy with Tony Freaking Bennett who knows who she might bring along to help her out. And speaking of famous collaborators, picking Gaga even leaves the door open juuuust enough for an organic Beyoncé cameo. Hell, this could end up being the best show ever. Get excited, Cleveland.

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