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How to Wear Gucci’s 5 Craziest Men’s Shoes

Yes, they're straight-up insane. But they're exactly why Gucci is killing it right now.

They say the shoes make the man, and if you're wearing Gucci shoes in 2016, they might just make you into the style legend you've always wanted to be. Sure, wacked-out shoes are out there in lots of forms, but right now Gucci is the world's foremost asylum for the most batsh!t insane footwear out there. From embroidered snakes to metal spikes, these five shoes from Gucci and their fearless creative director Alessandro Michele are the ones that are guaranteed show-stoppers this season, from somewhat insane to out-of-this-world mental.

Embroidered Snake Horsebit Loafers

Insane-O Rating: 5

These have a collapsable heel for added comfort (and optional style), but it's the embroidered snakes that make them anything but your average loafer. (Snakes, so hot right now.) But in terms of craziness, they're still tame enough to not overpower your entire outfit, so you can feasibly wear them with something like a shadow plaid suit, white shirt, and milder tie.

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$750, available at gucci.com

Printed Sneakers With Ribbon

Insane-O Rating: 7

Sneakers are inherently more casual and can be more wild than your go-to business cap-toe. Still, we're talking about a pair of sneakers that feature a printed upper, yellow sole, red metallic heel, and Gucci ribbon. These would be borderline reckless to look at if you were on acid, and are bright enough to induce acid flashbacks in the sober. If you're going to wear them, you either have to go full minimal with the rest of your vibe (navy trousers, white tee), or crank up everything with some plaid pants and a printed silk shirt. When it comes to these kicks, there is simply no in between.

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$620, available at gucci.com

Fur-Lined Floral Slippers

Insane-O Rating: 9

Think about what kind of person has to have enough dough to drop on these, but also the lifestyle that allows them to wear a fur-lined, floral print slipper anywhere but their own home. If you are balling out on these, chances are you don't spend much time roaming city streets in inclement conditions. Essentially these are the perfect shoes for being driven around in the back of a Rolls Royce while conducting business calls through an assistant. Or for honoring your late grandmother's couch and cat at the same time.

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$840, available at gucci.com

Square Toe Buckle Boots in Red Leather

Insane-O Rating: 10

The best way to describe these shoes would be: Medici-meets-Mayflower (but for 2016). These can't-miss-'em boots feature the (what we at least used to think of as the) cardinal sin of footwear—a square toe. They're also $1,200. You've gotta either be the ultimate frontman on stage in front of thousands of people or cutting up the dance floor of an underground club at three in the morning to pull these off. Which is to say Olly Alexander will wear them.

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$1,200, available at gucci.com

Fringe Loafer With Studs

Insane-O Rating: 20

Let's break down all of the things that make these the official shoe of Crazy Town, U.S.A. They have fringe. They have gold studs. They have gold spikes. They are adorned with a golden lion head on the fringe, and then several little golden lionheads near the toe at the end of the fringe. These shoes are so over-the-top that we need a new phrase that means over over-the-top. But we're sure there's a style daredevil out there who can and will make them work, and when they do, we will celebrate their honor. We're rooting for you, men of Planet Earth (and specifically, Jared Leto).

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$1,590, available at gucci.com

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