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Are You Guilty of These Common Men’s Underwear Offenses?

UnderwearAre You Guilty of These Common Men's Underwear Offenses?

200 women on their biggest men's underwear pet peeves.

Your underwear on any given day is hidden from most of the world. But someone somewhere some day will see it. And even if that person is none other than you and maybe your cat, you should take pride in your boxers, briefs, boxer briefs, or any combination of the three. Not only will it make a better impression on your eventual sexual partners, roommates, or pets, but it will also make you feel good. So, in the spirit of self care, we asked 200 women what they hate the most when it comes to men's underwear. Turns out, for the most part their expectations were pretty low—great news, for you at least. All you need to do from now on is avoid these way too common underwear offenses and you'll be ok. But should you want to aim for better than just ok, we can help you with that too.

Old and Worn Out:
When asked about their pet peeves, women complained most about worn-out underwear regardless of type. Here's what they said:

  • "Old ratty underwear. I don't need to see that. Please wear your best
    underwear on a date. I do. Ain't nobody wanna see your old undies."
  • "When my husband wears underwear with holes in the butt."
  • "Saggy"
  • "Worn out underwear is awful."
  • "When they're ratty like with holes."
  • "Dingy looking underwear. Just because they're still holding up
    doesn't mean you need to wear them!"
  • "I think if I discovered him in a hole-y, stretched-out pair of
    yellowing white briefs, I'd rethink whatever situation we'd found
    ourselves in at that moment. So, I guess my biggest pet peeves are
    dirty, ill-fitting, and/or too revealing. It really comes down to
    this idea that I want my man's underwear to be indicative of his
    manhood. (No pun intended.) Like, he's a mature adult, so he knows
    what fits and works well with clothing and is quality, but he doesn't
    give too much thought about it because he's not high maintenance.
    Honestly, men who are too obsessed with underwear (men's or women's)
    are kinda creepy."
  • "Holes in the ass. Throw them away for god's sake!"
  • "When they go too long without buying new underwear."
  • "When there are too many holes or shredding elastic"

There is a simple fix to this problem. Put an expiration date on your underwear. Wear 'em for six months and then swap 'em out for a new pair.

A Blatant Lack of Cleanliness:
God forbid you get in a car accident! Seriously though, this should not be an adult person problem. Keep 'em clean, especially when someone else might see 'em. This is just a sampling of the comments from women about men's dirty underwear:

  • "Dirty underwear"
  • "Dirty and smelly!"
  • "Not clean"
  • "They never wash them!"
  • "Grunginess."
  • "Stains"
  • "Mystery stains, guys this should be a no brainer, but I had an ex
    with a recurring problem of this."

Fit Problems:
How your underwear fits is just as important as how your suit fits—perhaps more important. Here are some of the most common complaints:

  • "When boxers bunch up and stick out the back of their pants."
  • "When the waist band is too tight."
  • "When they're not pulled up all the way – crack showing is so
    unattractive."
  • "Boxers that are too big."
  • "Bunching seen through pants."
  • "Really loose briefs."
  • "When men don't straighten out their boxers underneath their pants."
  • "Baggy-as-hell boxers or when the crotch area is emphasized to be
    super bulge-y."
  • "Super loose."
  • "Hard to take off when laying down."
  • "Baggy, stretch-less boxers."
  • "Wedgies, mostly."
  • "Boxers that bunch up over waistbands
  • "Wearing boxers with tight pants."

Too Many Colors and Prints:
Not so much an offense as risky waters. Some women would like to see a fun colorful pattern on your underwear. Some really would not. Here's what the latter said:

  • "Garish colors."
  • "Bright colors."
  • "Logos on the band"
  • "Multi-colored underwear."
  • "Joke-y patterns."
  • "Cartoon or action figure print."
  • "Too big, too many logos."
  • "Bad designs."
  • "Silky or patterned"
  • "Boxer waistbands showing over the pants. Either
    you're stuck in 2007 or you want to show off that you buy Gucci for
    your ass which is pretentious and really just says "hey ladies I'm
    materialistic and a spendthrift."

Here's the take away: women want your underwear to be clean, relatively new, to fit you well, and above all to look like you thought about them but not too much. If that seems too complicated, consider how much the average woman spends on makeup that looks like no makeup at all. Both things are meant to enhance the beauty that's already there and frame it in its best light. Whichever type of underwear you prefer, go out and buy a new pair today—trust us it'll make you feel great!

Up Next: Ansel Elgort and the Benefits of a Great Pair of Underwear

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